| fire, fire on the mountain. |
[23 Nov 2009|10:04pm] |
i went to asheville, NC this weekend with my family.
i am seriously considering moving there when my lease is up, and going to school.
the town is so amazing. it's an amazing mountain town full of hippies and art.
it calls my name, it pulls me in, it begs, stay.
hiiiii!
my younger sister & i (haha she's 17 and yet looks so much older than me, you'll see.)
sara to the left, me to the right.
daddy and me :)
downtown.
after my dad ran off into the woods to "pee" and came back reeking of pot. lol.
mom in the middle.
i took this picture :P
the clouds were a violent and beautiful ocean. rustling white foamy waves.
we went to a peak so high you could see all the way to Boone. then it started snowing.
dad, sara, and me.
my sister is so pretty :)
today is ross & i's 6th month!
we went to see The Blind Side, AMAZING movie. by the way.
i saw New Moon the other night, too. it was so much better than twilight.
really i just can't wait to see Breaking Dawn, that interpretation is gonna be interesting.
anyways. my parents got me a sweet shirt too, when i was in asheville. and i bought new sunglasses and incense. there was this amazing shop where this girl made all these clothes all sewed together, dresses with lace and stencils and silk and all kinds of beautiful jumbled fabrics, some dangling seashells and animal bones and things like that. I HAVE TO GO THERE.
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[15 Nov 2009|05:55pm] |
travis puppy pitbull haha and look at his kitty in the beer box....lol.
david's girlfriend, katie, and florida/travis.
keesa!
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[13 Nov 2009|05:40pm] |
what do you think you're belly button would say, if it could talk? ha!
i have lotsa clothes. one advantage of never having a growth spurt, lol.
my best friends.
geek girl. i have a headache today.
isn't he adorable.
tell me about your day!
bye bye now.
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[12 Nov 2009|07:05pm] |
darkness & rain,
i am immobile.
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[11 Nov 2009|11:52am] |
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One day
We'll get out of this shitty apartment
One day
Is all it takes for things to turn around now
All I know
Is I got you and you got me babe
And when that morning comes I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans and I'll keep saying how lucky we are
One day
We'll get in the car and drive anywhere we wanna go
And then we'll stay in a five star mini bar luxury hotel room
Cause all I know is I got you and you got me babe
And when that morning comes I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans and I'll keep saying how lucky we are
How lucky we are
Oh oh ohh
How luck we are
Oh oh ohh
How lucky we are
Oh oh ohh
How lucky we are
Ooh ooh oh
Ooh ooh oh
Ooh ooh oh
Ooh ooh oh
One day
We'll turn on the tv and won't see nothing 'bout war
And when that morning comes I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans and I'll keep saying how lucky we are
How lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh
How lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh
How lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh
How lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
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[06 Nov 2009|11:20pm] |
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[06 Nov 2009|07:22pm] |
pictures of our bedroom :)
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[05 Nov 2009|12:43pm] |
i feel like my tumblr is a big concotion of things i yearn, love, am, and want,
in a way, a strange concotion of my insides in images on the outside.
http://cheaface.tumblr.com/
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[03 Nov 2009|12:10am] |
i have no one to talk to about the things that eat me alive.
the sadness that lingers in my soul, swallowing me right up,
torturing my temples, the spaces behind the sockets.
i end up just sounding negative, i can't explain how some things plague me.
the world, the routine of it all, the pointlessness of everything,
in the end. i don't want to think the thoughts i do,
but how do i make them go away, when they're stirring and spitting
all night, all day.
how do you just make yourself think happy thoughts?
how do you forget the cruelity of reality without losing yourself
in dreamworlds, fantasylands, or
how do you just live it out?
how do you convert to ignorance and forget?
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[27 Oct 2009|05:33pm] |
it is gloomy and rainy out.
i slept all day long.
and i'm feeling sad, a stillness,
like being buried in snow.
i want crystals, shooting lights across the empty space.
i want dreamcatchers, peacock feathers, crimson streaks dripping blood.
i want sharp bones, wide pale eyes, gray shading smudges on moleskin paper.
i want passion and fire, burning life, noise, and stacks of pages of paper,
filled with all these things, typewriters and polaroids.
i can't explain how i am feeling.
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| i'm talking about the, big blunts, big blunts, on the rox! |
[22 Oct 2009|06:34pm] |
huddled up in the corner of my bedroom for some reason? haha.
SPOOKED!? no, overwhelmed by how much cleaning i need to do!
can you believe it!?
lil wayne going to jail for a year!
i'll have to break him out so he can't resist me and we can finally be happyeverafter
MRS CHEA CARTER!
ahahah, jk.
i'd rather be a cock. i mean Aycock. ha! i'm hyper.
it's that wonderful feeling of knowing i was supposed to be working right now,
and I'M NOT. stick it to the man, motherfucker.
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[20 Oct 2009|01:37pm] |
i'm thinking i'll do a friend cut soon, probably,
cmt if you think i might take you off & don't want me to!
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[19 Oct 2009|11:01pm] |
as always,
i am the thorn in his side.
i'm the dark cloud shading out the sun.
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[19 Oct 2009|10:19pm] |
i'm tired of trying.
life is so pointless.
everyday it's harder and harder
and you never get to anywhere where it's any easier
and i pretty much cannot see the point anymore.
i just want to give up. but i'm too scared to give up even anymore,
everything that's always scared me is coming true.
i tried to remain a child, so i wouldn't have to enter this world.
and here i am, stuck in it, over my head.
and all i want to do is melt away, again, dissapear into nothing,
it is a rigid world of make-believe boundries that you're locked into
like a jail cell, an asylum.
it's over and over and over the same 0s and 1s until you're soul
is a machine, you're entire being is make-believe boundries.
like in the book i'm reading, Paint It Black,
the "true world" is lost, it's gone. and i'm never going to find it.
i'm just going to live montonously, over and over.
scan type touch repeat, scan type touch repeat, scan type touch repeat
until i die.
and go nowhere.
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[19 Oct 2009|01:22pm] |
i simply don't understand how people do this whole working everyday, more than one job thing.
it's really draining me, i'm such a weak person.
people do it everday, and i have to suck it up. i'm not even in school this semester, it shouldn't be THAT hard. but it's just so draining, i don't know how much longer i can do this shit.
it's just like this never ending mess all the time of BLAHBLAHBLAH happy/love/fun/sleep for a few hours and then BLAHBLAHBLAH all i have to look forward to is the same thing and a never ending stressed out sick feeling in my stomach about all the things i don't want to do. being stuck in boxlike barriers for at least 5 hours at a time.
i hate it. i eat to much junk food. all i want to do when i'm not working is sleep. i have to PUSH myself to have any fun. like force it. which doesn't make it fun, you know?
i could never be one of those moms, with a job and kids and extracirriculars and PTA and grocery shopping and cooking and working and cleaning and it's such simple things, that's what life, in life, people do all that right?
i'm not cut out for this rigid world.
i need more space, i need that freedom.
i'm doomed to be unhappy with whatever's going on in my life.
no matter how good it is.
i feel like if i could just flip my attitude around, everything would change.
but how do you change your thoughts? just make them stop? i don't know what to do.
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[18 Oct 2009|02:11am] |
Paranormal Activity.
go see it. okay.
wow.
like, there was a chick vomitting in the trash can when we walked out.
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| from textsfromlastnight.com heheh. |
[16 Oct 2009|08:51pm] |
(317): you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
(614): Acid is not a monday night drug
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
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[16 Oct 2009|08:19pm] |
chocolate covered bacon??
eghhh, gross
but i hope i can go to the fair this year.
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cheaface's journal
